| treasure like gold. |
[Nov. 29th, 2009|06:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | To Be With You - Mr Big (my all time favourite!:D) | ] |
Ohkay , very good totally needa thank my cute phone for screwing up on me. i typed this whole long very nice post nd it didnt save it as a draft. omg , then now i have to do it all over agn, damn it. but its okay :D hahha. im damn awesome i knw cus i wna hit th sack soon. if it wasnt for my phone i wouldnt need t have th lappy on my lap now, i look damn bloody ugly nd tired now. tsk tsk tsk,
I havent had sleep within th next 48hrs. Nd within th last 48hrs , ive had food , friends , booze , fun , weary feelings, work , work , more work, painful sore feet , fun , more fun & blah blah blah. But well , it seems like all this cant seem t erase th feelings tht i feel inside. maybe trying t drown myself this way isnt right. maybe i cant stop t do nth cus whn i do nth , so many thoughts will start running through this puny little brain of mine and so much havoc & chaos would be created. But wait , i rlly dont knw why its been so long yet i still cant let go of it. They were important people who made me feel feelings tht were important and essential in a persons life . Then out of th blue , i started t lose them one by one. Him , him , her , her , they , they , THEM. i can try t live it through , laugh it through , say im getting over it , say ive gotten over it , say im okay , say this nd tht t cover it all up but at th end of th day, it al boils down t this little errupted volcano thts hidden deep down inside ths heart of mine. maybe it was just too much t take.new faces , new names , new people , but th way i feel still seems t be th same. random note , my body clocks totally screwed.
Oh well, anyways , i should stop thinking. kay on th brighter note , i rlly must look at how time consuming my job is , if i dont spend time thinking , i suppose i can live it through. lifes all about moving on ... blah blah blah standard "encouraging" words . this kinda thing i myself can say it too ! HAH! but i rlly believe tht w each small step i take , i get stronger cus u gta rmb tht my names Celeste Koh.
Tday i was talking t a colleague nd i must say , if anyone were t ask me whos my superhero , my answer would be th same . no matter how old i am may it be 17 or 70 whn im all old , haggard & wrinkled . That superhero of mine would be no one else but my mommy dearest. Shes awesome , more than awesome . Shes been thr for me all this while. through my fucked up education mess ,my painful horrible break up mess , my sick moments whn i was lying in th hospital cus of my stupid actions. she could have just abandoned th three of us whn my bastard father whom i must admit i still miss from time to time walked out on us. But yet she still stood strong , pulled herself tgt nd managed t pull through this far & i believe much further in th future.
Come on , a daughter studying in th uni , a daughter w a fucked up stupid brain tht started t work only whn she got herself into deep shit nd a son whos gg through puberty. OMG , i rlly salute her. Shes been thr for me nd loved me even whn i give her my most fucked up, disgustingly horrible bitch attitude just because i had a bad day myself. I must admit i can be a huge bitch whn i dont think , i can be selfish and act all crazy whn i dont pull myself tgt t stop t think but still , she loves me in those moments.
I believe tht a mothers love is th greatest nd most amazing love tht you can ever find on earth. ESP MY MOMMY (: rlly , you , yeah you reading , i believe your moms awesome t you too. If not , you had better take sometime t think , rlly at th end of it all , youd find out tht no one knws you better than mom. I must say tht i can have a totally screwed up life but my moms always thr t be an awesome mom despite th ups nd downs. Next time i wna be an awesome mom t my own kids too :D
My colleague told me this too , a random statement i made at work " i wna be pretty ): " - this is such a stupid thing t say but i love t say it cus i think its impt t have a decent looking face. PLS LETS GET REAL , NO ONE WOULD GO FOR INNER BEAUTY INITIALLY , LOOKS COME FIRST , srsly who you trying t lie to . aiyo , goondos.
then my colleague said this " Boys see pretty girls, they want to chase , chase already , play awhile then dont want already so its better to look average , just normal than be pretty , get chased and dumped" all of a sudden , wht he said made sense .HAHA!
WLAU EH , I LIKE SOME OLD GRANNY , SO NAGGY. ohkay imma go shower nd sleep alr , gnight you (: but trust me i say gna sleep gna sleep in th end , hours ltr then sleep . hahah its sucha celeste thing.
hahah if you managed t read till here , congrats man *shakes your hand*
xo,
C
OHOH , LAST LAST BIT ,
if boys you ever read this , pls , whn u dump yr girlfs , UPGRADE dont downgrade. seriously , get girlfs better than th one you bloody dumped . get someone whos decent w decent english(in my case) tsk-tsk-tssskk ! |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
xoxocel's journal